Josef Hader - HADER ON ICE

HADER ON ICE

"There's always something. Either my feet fall asleep. Or they itch. Then I can't catch my breath when I walk faster. Or I break out in a sweat. Then I'm freezing again. The food doesn't taste like anything anymore, sex is boring, the trousers are too tight. What is going on? - It must be climate change, right? Summer temperatures like the tropics! And suddenly these enormous insects! They didn't exist before! If one stings you, the swelling doesn't go down for months! They're probably all genetically modified. And the plants! They've gone completely mad too. They're losing it, the plants! Everything's getting overgrown! Ever since I stopped leaving the house. My theory is that the plants want to take back control of the planet. They're all connected underground through their roots. Worldwide! The plants have a secret plan. They want the total destruction of Western culture and Austrian folk rock'n'roll. All of it to be replaced by, uh, photosynthesis."