Heinrich del Core - "Advent, Advent und jeder rennt"

"Advent, Advent, and everyone's running"

Every year we look forward to Christmas! But the moment the pre-Christmas season begins, any sense of peace goes straight out the window. Candles to arrange, wreaths to weave.

Advent is when the wife clears out the cellar and decorates the flat. The husband decides to iron for once this year - only to find every socket taken up by fairy lights. In city centres, people battle through crowds hunting for gifts. By 23 December they're completely done in and realise: "I've finally got my presents sorted - I just still need to get the ones for everyone else!"

The smart move is to switch straight to "Swabian gift-giving": stop buying anything and just spend Advent accepting parcels on behalf of the neighbours! And then the family shows up... Back in the day you ate what was put on the table. Now the son is vegetarian, his girlfriend vegan, the daughter has a severe dungaree intolerance, and the wife has started putting milk in the sugar.

Christmas is supposed to be the festival of love - but can you really call it that when the wife bakes mountains of "Bredle" (traditional Christmas biscuits) and then hides them so the husband doesn't eat them all before the big day? On Christmas Eve you first have to go on a "Bredle" hunt. Christmas starts to feel more like Easter.

Still, we shouldn't forget that Advent also raises the truly important questions:
1. Can you rate the Three Wise Men with stars?
2. Why does mulled wine rhyme with "I can't make it into work tomorrow"?
3. Why do 9 out of 10 geese recommend beef roast as the festive meal?

And most importantly of all - making peace with your partner at the end of the year: "Darling, if I hurt, annoyed or disappointed you this past year, let me just say: there was probably a good reason for it."

Heinrich Del Core was born at Christmas time, his father Italian, his mother Swabian...